I think most people, when they hear a song, think of a time and place in their life. People they were with, or things that they were going through at that time. Well, this is my story. I'm 25 years old, and I think I turned out to be a pretty good person. However, life wasn't always so good to me. I graduated from high school in 1994, the same year Kurt Cobain killed himself. That period in my life was very trying. I grew up in a small community where everybody knew everybody. High school was very difficult for me and I found comfort in two things, Nirvana's music, and my artwork. I graduated with a class of 56 students. With a small class like that, you basically fell into one of three groups: the rich kids, the jocks, or the outsiders. Well, I was on the outside. I was kind of quite, around most people, that is. I was a good kid, that tried my best at whatever I did. However, I kept feeling pushed down. In lots of ways I found similarities in myself to that of Kurt and the message that he gave. Offstage the group appeared very modest and seemed to be rather simple "down to earth" people. I even had the privilege of meeting Krist a couple years ago, but unfortunately I didn't thank him for their influence on my live. I feel I'm rambling a little, so I'll try to get to the point here. From 1990 to 1995 was a very emotional and stressful time in my life. At that age, then you're in love, it's feels twice as good; and when you're down, you feel twice as depressed. I do have some good memories, and everytime I hear a Nirvana song, those thoughts (both good and bad) come right back to me. I never saw Nirvana play, but I remember exactly where I was when I saw each Nirvana video. It was like we were going through high school together. When Kurt died, I too was going through the most difficult time in my live. I had broken up with my "senior year girlfriend" a couple months before. My grandmother, and my biggest fan of my artwork, passed away. And during an altercation, at a party one night with my ex-girlfriend and some really bad influences, I came home with a broken right hand. It wasn't just my hand that I broken either, I was broken. I had two surgeries on my hand and was slowly slipping away from people. I had a few people what helped turn me around, but most of all; I had Nirvana's music (especially since I wasn't able to draw/paint). I remember going on my senior class trip. I had been going to therapy sessions, to try to regain some mobility in my hand. On our way down to Washington DC, a few friends and myself, annoyed the rest of my classmates by obnoxious singing several Nirvana songs late into the early morning. We were even making up or own lyrics. The reason why I have such a vivid memory of this, is because two days later, on our last day of the trip, Kurt's body was found. This perhaps was a little kink in my path. I started taking things a little bit more serious. I also realized the value that my life had on the people closest me. Unfortunately, this story gets worse before it gets better. A couple months after Kurt's death, I had my third surgery. With the events that had taken place that year, I thought it was only fitting to paint a portrait of those I felt had the biggest influence on my life, Nirvana. The day after my third surgery, I started painting the picture that you see attached. I did the entire thing left-handed. As you might have guessed, I'm not right handed; but having had to learn to write and take notes with my left hand in class, I felt as though this was something I could do. In September of 1994, I started college. College was pretty tough on me physically, because I was just starting to use my right hand again. I think a lot of people were surprised with my progress. I was even told once, by a therapist, that I had the worst hand she had ever seen. I remember they started out my therapy by bending my hand close. They would bend my fingers down and try to make a fist. They would ask me to tell them when the pain was too much, but I wouldn't do it. No pain was too great. I wanted the use of my hand back. Then on October 29, 1994 (the day after my 19th birthday) I was in a serious car accident. A friend of mine rear-ended another car going about 55 mph. I was looking on the floor for batteries, for my friend's Discman that was hooked up to the tape deck, and apparently he was too. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt, and had I been sitting upright, I would have gone through the windshield. But because I was bent over, I ran right into the dashboard, and received a compressed fracture of two vertebras in my spine. I was in the hospital for a week and then missed two more weeks of school after that. The first couple days in the hospital, I was awake for only a few hours. When I was, I would ask god why this was happening to me. I once again found myself in the hospital. This time broken even more. However, when I was finally able to come home, I remember lying in bed, and for the first time, I was gratefully for being alive. It was kind of a second chance. I was lucky I wasn't paralyzed... or even worse. During my time in the hospital, Nirvana's Unplugged performance was released on CD. My brother picked me up a copy, and I remember listening to it over and over again as I lied in my bed at home. It was very therapeutic. And when I went back to college, people were very helpful and supportive. To this day, my back still hurt sometimes. And the metal plate, that was once in my right hand, I wear around my neck on a chain. I consider the metal plate to be my personal cross that I had to carry once. Just like everything else, I've learned to keep going and try to over come obstacles. So why am I righting this now? It's been almost seven years since Kurt's death. Well, I just so happen to think that there are a lot of people with a story, perhaps similar to mine. Nirvana was more to me than just a band. I think most people will agree with that. And I'm not talking about how they "changed the music that we listen to today". I'm talking about how they changed my life. There's lots of people who's life has been changed by the music that they listen to. This was mine. I would like to think that Kurt, just like most people, wanted to leave some kind of mark on the world, some kind of impact. I remember school teachers telling us, "If I could only reach out to one student, it would all be worth it." Well Kurt, you touched my life and it was worth it... thank you.